


Going on alone

by Mycroffed



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fix-it fic, Harry Potter Crossover - Freeform, Huffelpuff Clint, Huffelpuff Phil, M/M, Natasha's just there for him, Post-Avengers (2012), Slytherin Natasha, The Avengers have graduated, except Clint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-22
Updated: 2015-06-22
Packaged: 2018-04-05 15:31:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4185123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mycroffed/pseuds/Mycroffed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil has died in the battle of Hogwarts and now Clint will have to find a way to move on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Going on alone

**Author's Note:**

> I forgot how awesome it is to just write for an entire day. Yes. But this is probably the end for a couple of days.  
> Thanks for reading, kudoing and commenting.

It had been months after the battle of Hogwarts. The battle where Phil Coulson, golden boy of Huffelpuff and incidentally also Clint’s boyfriend, had died. Clint had hated the fact that he had not been able to do anything, since he had been under Loki’s imperio curse. He was still having a hard time getting over the man, even with the help from his best friend, Natasha – who was also a Slytherin, but Clint had long given up on hating her for sharing a house with Loki. After all, she was nothing like the man.

Since he had been in too much shock after the battle, Clint hadn’t been able to finish his last year at Hogwarts, so there he was again, in September. It hurt him to return to a place where he previously had been with his boyfriend and he had almost decided to make a run for it. But Natasha had almost forced him to stay – she had even joined him at the Huffelpuff table, which got the two of them a lot of surprised looks – so he had decided to give the seventh year at least a chance.

He hadn’t even made it to the end of the first day before he had grabbed his broom and taken off to fly around the grounds. It calmed him down and that way, he was able to once again complete the target course Coulson had set up for him in his fourth year. It hurt him in a way that it was all still there, that all those things that reminded him of the man he had loved were still there. He was about to go and complete the target course once again when Natasha called him down.

Hesitantly, he flew down to where she was standing. “What do you want, Nat?” He knew it sounded rude, but he wasn’t in a mood to be polite or to even do so much as try to hide the fact he didn’t want to be there.

“Headmaster Fury has asked for you. He expects you to be in his office in ten minutes.” The Slytherin said before turning around, not prepared to listen to Clint’s whines or complaints about it.

Clint grumbled softly to himself as he grabbed his broom tightly and made his way to the headmaster’s office. He barely listened to the speech the man was giving him – he knew what it was about: try not to let Coulson’s death shake you too much, don’t give up on Hogwarts, give it another chance – since all his friends had given him this before. But there was something new at the end of it, something that surprised Clint.

“I know that last year you were part of the group called the Avengers and I know that they’re all gone off to do their own stuff, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t still be an Avenger at heart. Continue to do what you think is best. And that’s why I’m making you Huffelpuff head boy.”

Clint huffed in surprise, he didn’t feel like he was ready for that, but mostly because it had been Phil’s job the year before. “But sir…” He protested.

“No protests, Barton, from now on you’re a head boy and you’re going to act like one.” With those words, Fury waved him out of his office.

Of course Natasha was waiting for him outside, looking smug as she glanced at Clint’s new badge. “So he really went through with it. He really did make you head boy in an attempt to get you to stay.”

“You knew about this?” Clint snapped as he walked past her, his broom still tightly grasped in his hand. “You _knew_ about this and you didn’t even tell me?”

Nat gasped softly, not expecting this strong a reaction from the Huffelpuff boy. “I… I’m sorry. I was the one who gave him the idea. Thought that stepping in Coulson’s footsteps, doing what he loved, that it might help you-“

“Help me do what? Move on? What if I don’t want to move on, ‘Tasha? I loved him! I loved him and I’m not going to let him go so easily. And I’m definitely not going to pretend that I’m him.”

“Clint, calm down, I…” Natasha shook her head. “I now see it was a bad idea, alright? If you didn’t want to do it, you just could’ve said so.”

“Fury didn’t really give me a chance, you know.” He almost growled the answer. “Besides, by the time I realized what he had said, I had already left the office.”

“One day, you’ll actually have to listen to what people tell you, Hawkeye.” Natasha used the code name they had invented for him the previous year. She had been the Black Widow and their friends all had their own name. Tony Stark had been Iron Mage, Bruce Banner the Incredible Hulk – ever since the man had accidentally managed to change into what was basically a new mythical creature – Steve Rogers was Captain America and Thor… Well, Thor was just Thor.

Clint just huffed at Natasha and ignored her as he made his way to his common room. Once there, people looked at him, at his new badge, and the older Huffelpuffs, who knew how much the previous head boy had meant to Clint, gestured at the first years to be quiet and leave the man alone for just that night.

With a grateful exchange between him and Kate Bischop – one of his better friends outside of the Avengers group – he made his way up to his room, where he curled up on his bed and tried to figure out what the hell was happening.

 

*

 

He woke up the next day to soft chatter in him room – something which should’ve been impossible, since he was the only one who slept in it. He slowly opened his eyes and groaned as he spotted his friends sitting there. “I swear if this is another plot to get me to act like a head boy, I’m gonna kill Fury.” He mumbled, not expecting anyone to hear him.

But they did, miraculously enough, and in a sex – sec, dammit – everybody was sitting next to him on the bed. Stark was there, Rogers, Banner, Thor and Natasha. It was like nothing had happened, except they had never all gotten together in his room, they had never looked at him so concerned and most of all, they had never been as quiet as they were now. Nobody was speaking – not even Stark – as he slowly pushed himself up.

“So what brings you all here?” Clint got out of the bed and grabbed the shirt he had thrown on the ground the night before.

“We came to check on you, see how you were doing.” Rogers said. “Is that a problem?”

“No, no, I just didn’t expect you here.” He grumbled softly as he tried to put on his trousers as quickly as he could. When he almost fell over, he sighed and whispered “Aww, trousers…” to himself. His friends quickly exchanged looks that basically said _he’s not okay_ after that.

“We couldn’t be in the neighbourhood and not come by to congratulate you with the promotion nobody ever thought you’d get, right?” Stark said with a smirk on his face.

“Stark, shut up.” Natasha said almost immediately, even before Clint could throw a murderous glare in the man’s direction.

Everybody was a bit quiet for a couple of seconds after that until Clint cleared his throat. “Look, not that I’m not glad that you’re here, but don’t you have better things to do?” He looked at every single one of them. “Bruce, you were working on something that’d help hybrids? Stark, you have so many responsibilities with Stark Industries.” The moment he said it he realized that Tony would use every opportunity – including this one – to get out of those. He just left it all to Pepper. “Rogers, you were studying to become a Auror at the Ministry, right? And Thor, aren’t you technically still prince of Asghard?” He didn’t even glance at Nat, knowing that of all the people currently in his room, she had the most rights to be there.

Everybody was suddenly quiet and definitely not looking at Clint. “Ah, so that’s how it is. You are checking up on me.” He walked to the door of his room and left the rest of the Avengers behind. “I’m going to get coffee. Don’t join me.”

Natasha smiled apologetically to the others as she got up to follow the man downstairs to the kitchen where he usually got his coffee. “Clint!” She called out to him as soon as they were out of the common room. “Clint, come on, they meant it well!”

“Oh, they meant it well when they came into my room – I suspect I have you to thank for that – and then they made fun of the fact that I am now Head boy, something I never wanted to be. And you expect me to be calm as that all happens?” He shook his head and turned around to face her. “I don’t want this, Nat, I don’t wanna be the next Phil. ‘Cause let’s be honest, nobody can ever be another Phil.” He was trying to hold himself together, but he was obviously failing rather badly at it. His bottom lip was starting to tremble and he clenched his jaw in an attempt to hold back the tears that were forming in his eyes.

Nat sighed and pulled the man in his arms. “Come on, Clint, you’re going to be fine. I know he’s gone, but you’ll find someone else, someone who’ll care just as much about you as he did. And just so you know, it’s okay cry from time to time.”

Clint nodded and curried his face in her shoulder the moment the first tears came running down his cheeks. “I can’t do it, Nat, I really can’t…” he whispered between sobs. “I can’t be him, I don’t wanna be him…”

Nat simply held him close and whispered soothing words to him as he cried. He kept basically mumbling the same two lines over and over again until he was calm enough to pull back and wipe the tears from his face. “I… Don’t do this again unless I ask for it.” He said as he pulled back. “Understood?”

Natasha nodded as she stepped back from her best friend and let him go to the kitchen on his own.

 

*

 

In Clint’s room, the four men that were left behind looked at each other, a bit confused. They had only found out that Clint and Phil had been having a relationship the moment they had found the man in the Great Hall with a hole in his chest and Clint running towards him. They had watched as Clint had checked Phil’s pulse – he hadn’t found anything – and once he was sure that he was dead, pulling the man into a deep, desperate kiss. They had watched Clint cry as what he thought was his future was crumbling apart.

They had been hurt by the fact that neither Clint nor Phil had told them they were in a relationship, but they quickly got over it as they realized how much that Clint had loved the man. He was broken the moment he found that body. They had to pull him away once head master Fury had arrived in the room. Clint had refused to leave, he had thrown a tantrum, like he was a little kid, but they had just picked him up and carried him outside. They had managed to get him to his bed, where Clint had cried himself to sleep.

And now, months later, when they were trying to do something for him, make sure that he was alright at Hogwarts, they got a reaction like this. They had no idea what had happened to the man they had once considered a good friend and who now looked at them like they were the worst thing that could happen to him.

Stark understood it, in a way. He knew that if Pepper would’ve been there, if Pepper would’ve died, he would’ve been off much worse than Clint was right now. And it must be bad enough for Barton that he was back here at Hogwarts, where he had been sneaking around with Coulson. And now his friends, the ones he had been keeping this all a secret from, had suddenly turned up in his room. He would freak out as well.

He looked up as Natasha walked back in the room.

“So how is he?” Banner asked, his voice soft.

Nat sighed softly as she sat down on Clint’s bed. “He’s holding on. Barely, but he’s holding on.” _Maybe you turning up here wasn’t a good idea after all._ She wasn’t going to say it out loud, but Stark could read enough body language to know that that was what she was thinking.

“Maybe we should disappear before he comes back.” Rogers suggested. “Make sure that we don’t put more strain on him than absolutely necessary.”

Natasha seemed to think that through for a moment, debating if that was a good move or not. “The best thing for him right now was if Coulson returned. But we all know that’s not going to happen.” She looked at every single one of them before shrugging. “We need to be there for him, even if he doesn’t want us to be there.”

Rogers, Thor and Banner nodded immediately in agreement. “We’ll be there.”

Nat glared at Stark until he nodded as well. “Alright, alright, I’ll be there too.”

They all nodded in agreement and Nat left them once again to go and look for Clint, hoping that he’d still be fine.

 

*

 

In the months that followed, the Avengers continued to show up in Clint’s room at irregular intervals. It just happened sometimes, when they were free. Sometimes it was just Banner or just Rogers, but Stark made sure that he always had someone with him. Throughout those months, Clint more and more accepted the presence of the others, he more and more talked back and sometimes he even smiled at them.

He was getting better and better, he was doing his job as head boy, he was even almost enjoying himself while he did it. He was starting to adopt little things that Phil used to do. He even sounded like Phil sometimes. But he was fine, he was perfectly fine.

One day, about six months after the battle of Hogwarts, there was a memorial service for the fallen of that battle. For Coulson. For Tonks, for Lupin, for everybody who had died that day. And they had asked Clint to speak at the ceremony, but he had refused. Words had never worked for him.

The ceremony was painful. He knew that he wasn’t the only one who had lost someone in the war, but seeing them all in the Great Hall, grieving for the loved ones, it was so overwhelming. He didn’t even make it through the service before he started to cry. It was a quiet sobbing, something one would only notice when he or she was sitting right next to the one who was crying. And of course, he was surrounded by his own friends, so nobody knew what was going through him at that moment. It wasn’t like people even noticed – or even wanted to notice what was happening.

When the service was over, Clint was surrounded by his friends as he walked out of the Hall and was guided to his room. Once there, he collapsed on his bed and closed his eyes. Everybody was sitting next to him in silence, not knowing what exactly to say. When Clint got up again after a couple of minutes, he looked better again. He looked like he was alive. With a weak smile at the others, he sat up on his bed. He was about to start talking when there was a knock on the door.

“Come in.” He said softly, not knowing who the hell would want to come into the room as they knew that he was in here with his friends. This wasn’t the moment to interrupt them. He glanced at the door as it opened and his eyes almost dropped out of their sockets as he watched Phil walk in.

After being quiet for about half a minute, just staring at the man in the doorway. Then, he turned to his friends. “Alright, who got hold of Phil’s hair and decided to make some polyjuice potion?” It was the only logical explanation his brain could come up with. It was not possible that Phil was actually still alive. He had checked the man’s pulse, he had definitely been dead.

“Clint…” It was definitely Phil’s voice alright. The man sounded choked as he walked closer to the newest head boy. “Clint it’s really me.”

Clint shook his head. “No, you can’t be. You’re dead, Phil, I saw you.” He started to sound broken again, like he had the first few days after the battle. “You died, Phil. You can’t…” He got up and walked over to the man and pulled him in his arm, as if he was checking if this was real, if this wasn’t a dream.

“I was dead when you found me, Clint, but then Fury was there and he found a way. Somehow they found a way to bring me back.” He said softly as he buried his face in Clint’s shoulder.

Barton relaxed slightly as he had decided that this was the truth, that Phil really was back. “Why did you only come back now? Why did you stay away from me? I missed you…. I missed you so much.”

Phil looked up at the other, his eyes soft and filled with tears. “I didn’t… I didn’t remember you, Clint. Whatever they did, it messed with my brain and I couldn’t remember who you were to me.”

Clint melted when he looked at his boyfriend and he pulled him into a deep, passionate kiss. The other Avengers started to look away a bit uncomfortably as the two men pulled each other closer and tried to get reacquainted with each other.

Nat nudged everybody and they quickly left the room before things got too badly out of hand, since it seemed that the two reunited lovers had completely forgotten about other people in the room.

 

*

 

When, about an hour later, the two of them came out of the room again, the two of them were beaming with happiness. Nat rolled her eyes at the two of them but honestly, Clint couldn’t care less. He was holding on tightly to Phil, not letting him go out of his sight – or his reach. As they walked down and arrived in the common room, a brief glance from Nat and Stark signaled to everybody to leave the room.

Once everybody sat down, Nat looked at Phil. “Alright, spill. What happened to you?”

The dead man walking took a deep breath before he started talking. He talked about how he had woken up in an empty hospital room, not knowing who he was – or _where_ he was, for that case – and all alone. Soon, Fury had walked in and had explained most of what had happened. But he hadn’t known about Clint, so that explained why it had taken the man so long to return to his boyfriend.

Clint was obviously not paying a lot of attention to what Phil was saying – either Phil had already explained everything to him, or he just couldn’t be bothered to not gaze at his long lost boyfriend. Natasha shook her head at him and all he did was beam back at her. She hadn’t seen him as happy ever since the battle of Hogwarts.

Once the other Avengers were satisfied with the answers, they had decided to leave the two of them alone, let them enjoy the time they had suddenly gotten. Once everybody left, Clint pulled Phil once again into a softer, more tender kiss. As Phil hummed softly into the kiss, he pulled the other in his lap. Clint smiled into the kiss and pushed himself up and grabbed Phil’s tie as he slowly moved towards the door. “Come on, let’s go back to my room.” He whispered. "Let the others return."

And as the two of them disappeared into Clint’s bedroom, the betting began as to how long they would stay in there. A bet Nat would win, of course, since she knew Clint the best.


End file.
